Saturday, July 24, 2004

Scanning the Vans

 I promise you that we won’t let terrorists scare us out of covering the Democratic convention. The FBI, ever on the alert, warns us that they are talking about blowing up our vans in the parking lot. And these are not Moslem terrorists, who are easy to recognize, but true-blue American Bush-loving terrorists, who talk like Ann Coulter.

Anyhow, we don’t have a van, and we don’t expect to pay much mind the floor shows inside either convention. All the fun will be outside. Already, the cops in Boston have won themselves a raise by threatening to picket the hall. Inside, delegates will be chanting for a candidate who promises to raise the minimum wage to seven dollars and change by the year two thousand and seven. Even our billionaire Republican mayor has put himself down for ten -- and that doesn’t even catch up.

The mayor has a thing, though, about peace marchers. He won’t allow crowds to trample the grass in Central Park -- except for big concerts -- or to choke up Times Square, except for New Year’s Eve. Fifth Avenue -- nothing doing.  It was the West Side Highway -- take it or leave it. But we will be marching there PAST the Garden -- and I promise you they’ll know we were there. The efforts to repress our protest, only incite the imagination of our protesters. The watchword is to avoid violence, which only plays into the hands of the enemy. There is always the danger that some wackos -- possibly provocateurs - will try to make trouble. Our own security teams will try to foil them. For the rest, let the fun begin.